“Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold”
I grew up really believing in that one line from a Girl Scout song. Believing that IF I was able to remain friends with the people I grew up with, while also expanding my circle by making new friends, that I would have all the silver and gold one could get. However, the older I got, the more I realized this one-liner expresses a nice ideal of an ever-expanding circle of friends, but ideal is not reality. Not for me anyways. I know that’s not the case for everyone and that sometimes friendships do turn out the way the song intends, and I commend those whose do, but my experience within friendships is not the same. This doesn’t mean I have had friendships end in tragic ways each time, though. Most of the ended friendships I’ve had have fallen victim to the unavoidable result of growing up and growing apart. Of course, I’ve had a few friendship breakups that were more traumatic and ended in blocking each other on all forms of social media and well, life. But every friendship I’ve had at every stage of my life, has made me the person I am today. Luckily, I have lost more friends due to growing apart than any sort of betrayal or falling out, but the constant change of friendship happens to majority of people during their lives and that’s just that.
Lets start from the beginning…
Everyone has friends from the day they are born. You are automatically destined to be friends with the kids of your parents friends, who are close to your age. You’ll have these friendships for a while, years even, but eventually you may outgrow these friendships that were, in a way, picked for you. I know a few people personally who have kept their “Mommy and Me” friends through adulthood. In my case, my mom did not go to “Mommy and Me” as I was her 3rd baby and by that point she pretty much had giving birth —> raising a child figured out. However, I was close to the other kids that grew up in my neighborhood and ones I attended preschool with. Those friendships lasted pretty long throughout my Elementary school years, but when life gets in the way and people move away or grow at different rates then one another, that’s where the growing apart sets in. These are usually the type of friends that you will remember forever. You will keep tabs each other thanks to social media, you wish them well on their birthdays, you comment to congratulate them for life achievements, and you still send each other old photos you may find in a box somewhere in storage.
Fast forward and its your middle school years. I don’t know about anyone else, but in my opinion, middle school is the worst. People are mean, everyone looks awkward, and no one knows who they are. You still find your people, though. Maybe they are from your classes, maybe from the bus, or maybe from your elementary school. If you’re lucky, you’ll go to the sister high school a block up the road and take your middle school friends, that you’ve created tight bonds with for the past three years, with you. As I’ve stated before and I will probably say again, this was not the case for me. Unfortunately, I went to a high school that had a different sister middle school than the one I attended. This meant that I would have to, once again, make new friends. Then, after two years at a different high school from my middle school friends, I changed schools for my Junior and Senior year. This meant that I would have to, once again, make new friends. Statistics say that people hold the most friendships during the Middle – College years of life; you have ample opportunities to meet new people through schools, hobbies, extra curricular’s, and even weekend parties. Not much effort has to be made into these friendships, because you most likely see each other everyday from some activity listed above. At this point in my life, I still had people from elementary school, middle school, both high schools, and baton. This allowed me to keep different friendships from five different groups up until my college career. Of course, there were a few friendships that fell apart during those years, but I had a mindset of the more the merrier and quantity over quality, so with every friend lost, there was another friend gained.
How many followers can I gain on Instagram?
How many people will wish me a Happy Birthday?
Who’s throwing the best house parts this weekend?