In between

I was listening to my music on shuffle the other day while driving and I came across an older country song that I hadn’t heard in a few years. Instead of pressing skip, like I normally do if I can’t sing a-long word for word, I decided to give the old song a re-listen. Wow, am I glad I did. It may sound dramatic to some that a song, or lyrics in a song, can resonate so personally to different individuals lives. But, that is definitely the reason I love music as much as I do. Anyways, as I was humming a long to the tune I really listened to the words and it got me thinking. 

Being in your mid-twenties is weird sometimes. There is no guide, no timeline to follow. It seems like there are only two ends of the spectrum once you hit your mid-twenties. Everyone is either settling down or living carelessly free, going out until 5:00AM or in bed with a good book by 8:00PM. Living 10 years older or 10 years younger than the actual ages of the twenties. Why is that? Why are the two opposing sides so intense? Why does it seem like there is no gray area…no in between? I still want to go out on an occasional Saturday night, but I easily can be in bed with a good book at 8:00PM the nights I don’t want to go out.

There’s a song, well a few songs, that perfectly embodies the feeling of the in between. The one that resonates with me most is by Kelsea Ballerini. This is the one that played on my shuffled Apple Music the tore day. Her song eloquently described the uncomfortable feelings and emotions that comes with being a young adult, specially one in their mid-twenties.  

People in their mid twenties are getting married… should I?  I know the person I am with, I want to marry eventually but I am stuck in the in between of now or later. As Kelsea puts it, “In between just a fling and a ring”.  People in their mid twenties are buying houses….should I? Of course, eventually I want to live in a house that I can be proud of purchasing myself. But also, I love that my apartment has a view of the small Skyline that is the city of Fort Lauderdale. That I can walk up one flight of stairs and can be at my pool or gym. That I am walking distance from multiple restaurants, coffee shops and bars. As Kelsea puts it, “In between an apartment and a from porch swing”. 

The song guides one through those pivotal moments of growth, lyrically explaining how growth is not linear. You can still shop on the sales rack even though you have a real paycheck. You can still stay up until 3:00AM on Saturday and sleep the day off on Sunday, then go to your professional job on Monday. You can date, you can marry, you can remain single. Enjoy the mid-twenties free fall. Enjoy the in between. Enjoy the uncomfortable moments that help you understand who you are. You don’t have to be only reckless or only responsible…you can be in between.

I don’t know when I will finally feel like I am my age. There is no timeline, no book, nothing to tell me that I have hit that age where I am fully comfortable with myself, my life, my surroundings. At the moment, I feel like I could be living in this in between forever. So, knowing that it is okay to be in between two extremely contrasting, crucial things is comforting. Here’s to the people in their mid-twenties that know everything and nothing all at once. To the people who feel simultaneously underestimated and overexpectated. As I continue to transform into adulthood, to find my place in this world find, I will try to find that comfort in the in between.


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