Somehow, in the blink of a bloody eye, I’ve found myself at the end of yet another month. Having survived acting in one play and then been cast in another; having briefly disappeared to Manhattan for a New York minute and returned both enlightened and inspired and in some ways even more confused. I’ve also, weirdly enough, in my search for some sort of clarity or direction as the swirling elements of my life keep stubbornly failing to coalesce smoothly, found myself getting into astrology; and thus wondering if all the ups and downs of my life lately can be at least partially explained by something called a Saturn Return.
According to my latest calculations, I can never rest.
If you’re wondering why I have been absent from this “blog” segment of the site since this past December, it’s because I haven’t exactly had time to breathe. Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration—but I have, indeed, been busy. Like, going straight from the rehearsal period for one play I’m acting in straight into another, while also trying to adapt to my new job at ASC, while also trying to keep up with my NCP dramaturgy and miscellania, while also continuing to compulsively cover every production that comes my way—not, mind you, because anyone is making me, but because, especially for the smaller shows, if I don’t cover them, then it often seems likely that no one will. Out of some bizarre sense of duty—or maybe just a fear of ever letting anyone down.
December has certainly been an interesting month in Ilana-land. Though I’ve yet to firmly answer the broader question of “what I’m doing with my life” since moving back from Maryland, at least in terms of that horrible capitalistic necessity of employment, things in that realm do seem as they might be moving in quite an interesting direction, and I’m surprised but satisfied with how busy I’ve managed to keep myself in-between. In fact, between job applications, It’s A Wonderful Life and other New City Players miscellanea, and the rush of theatre openings that saturated the first half of the month, I feel as if it’s only been in conjunction with the holiday that I’ve been able to take a few days off-from-it-all to breathe!!
Given that I’m now in the midst of the second production on which I formally occupied the position of “dramaturg,” I couldn’t help but laugh with recognition at a particular exchange I heard during a recent reading of satirical masterwork The Thanksgiving Play, which I attended at Thinking Cap Theatre.
When it first came into my head to say farewell to the 2021-2022 season with a top ten list, I also intended this essay to be something of a farewell to both South Florida Theater Magazine and South Florida as a whole. Instead, after a grand two months of living in Maryland and working at the Olney Theatre Center, I also find myself instead announcing that, as of Halloween, I have returned full time to the area to continue keeping an eye on the theatre scene and do… well, something or other!
I’ve always had complicated feelings about disclosing my autism spectrum disorder diagnosis. Which, I suppose, makes the fact that I accepted a role as panelist on last Monday’s Creating Change Conversation on Neurodiversity, Disability and Accessibility, led by Momentum Stage, somewhat noteworthy in and of itself.
As of today, I have now been fully vaccinated for over a month, and, in many ways, it’s everything I expected it to be. A visit from a New York grad school friend spiraled into a spur of the moment road trip, and the slow return of full-fledged in-person theatre has been downright marvelous to behold.
Though I have now lost count of the number of times that I have tried to leave the orbit of the theatre, something always seems to drag me back. Ever since I, as a pre-teen, emerged entranced from my very first Broadway show, nothing has ever quite managed to eclipse my passion for it, nor has any supposed change in priorities kept it from taking center stage in my life.
To say I’ve been haphazard with this blog since the huge theatrical shift that happened in March 2020 is a bit of an understatement. And though I do plan on getting back to reviews and whatnot once more in-person theatre is like, possible, I did want to pop in for a second to talk about some stuff I’ve been doing, because, single as I may be this Valentine’s season, I am seriously feeling the theatre love!
So, at about this time last year, I wrote a Thanksgiving post vaguely inspired by my participation in New City Players City Speaks storytelling event (don’t bother looking at it now, though—this one is long and winding enough!) The post ended up being more properly about stories and gratefulness in a larger sense, and it also ended up being one of the most terrifyingly vulnerable pieces of writing I’ve ever shared publicly.