Girlfriends: A Different (But No Less Important) Kind of Love

Somewhere along the way after rewatching my absolute favorite show, Sex & The City, for probably the tenth time now (I wish I was exaggerating), and the excitement of the newest part of the franchise And Just Like That (the revival that aired Dec. 9th)… I couldn’t help but realize I haven’t yet written about my girlfriends. And what’s a better time than the month of love? Girlfriends, although a different kind of love, are no less important than any other relationship. As Mr. Big famously said about his beloved Carrie to her best friends, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha, 

“You three know her better than anyone, you’re the loves of her life. And a guy’s just lucky to come in fourth.” 

A still from Sex & The City featuring the girls: Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha.

As women, you learn pretty quickly that good girlfriends are your lifeline. It is not unusual for mothers to tell their daughters growing up how it’s best to have even one good friend, rather than ten fake ones. Good girlfriends are everything, and the truth is, you really only do get a couple good ones in your whole life.

They are laughter until we cry and hold our stomachs because we can’t breathe. They are dancing and celebrating on our wildest nights and talking about anything and everything until early hours of the morning. They are loyalty and honesty. They are comfort during the most painful of heartbreaks, and joy on our happiest of days. They are our greatest supporters through beliefs and careers. They are our first thought when we think of taking a trip, and they are our favorite dinner dates any day of the week. They are there to remind us of who we are at our most lovable, and where we started before our evolutions. They are our heart and our fun… our greatest listeners and our greatest inspiration… our biggest fans and truly, our first soulmates. 

As girls, growing up is difficult and navigating the tricky hormonal years and the pressure that surrounds young women is not easy. Unfortunately, even after high-school and throughout college, it is not the easiest thing in the world to find your tribe. We, as women, often go through trials and tribulations with our friends, and ourselves. It is not uncommon to lose friends, have falling outs, and not have the same friends you did in middle or high school. I truly believe due to my experiences when I was younger, I have a few amazing lifelong friends from my childhood, but I met most of the friends in my life later on in college or now through work. 

Baltimore 2020 – Julia, Christine, me and Annemarie.

My lifes version of Sex & The City is made up of my former college roommates and best friends – Julia, Christine, Annemarie and me. I met them all due to a random room assignment in college after I transferred to Loyola University Maryland in Baltimore. As random as it could’ve been, it really wasn’t random at all. These girls were meant to come into and bless my life. We have mastered the recipe of respecting each other to allow everyone to be who they are, while understanding each other’s needs and boundaries at the same time. 


Julia was the first one I met out of the girls. I met her the day I moved in, and our connection was truly immediate. All it took was that night for us to go out to a local bar for some Coronas, dance the night away, and the rest was history. We ended up rooming together for the rest of our college experience and almost two years after college graduation, we talk every day and are just as close as ever. Julia is both the baby and the sweetheart of the group. She teaches us to be kind and never go a day without checking in with someone you love or doing a good deed. She inspires me to make time for exercise but also fun, and reminds us that nothing is too stupid to laugh at – silliness is everywhere and the little things matter most. She makes us girls feel like the most important people in the world, and shows us how special girl time really is.


Annemarie was the next one to cross my path. We met by chance at an “I just got dumped party” by her roommate at the time. I was invited last minute by mutual friends, and naturally, I decided to go in pajamas bearing a cake to break the ice amongst a new group of girls. Weeks after, we ended up hanging out more and more, and realized our connection was deepening over our shared bonds with our grandparents. Annemarie is the self-sufficient and generous one of the group. She is fiery and a fierce force, always making time for productivity, but also self care. She teaches us that being alone can be a beautiful thing and that taking care of ourselves first & foremost is crucial to our happiness. There will also never be a bill that she doesn’t take care of, no matter how hard you try – it genuinely means that much to her to spoil everyone around her. She makes us girls feel like the most important people in the world, and shows us how much she loves us just by spending time with us. 


And then there was Christine, coming all the way back to Baltimore from a semester in France. I met her bright eyed and bushy tailed, anxious for her arrival after hearing so much about her while she was abroad. Christine is the sensitive, yet headstrong of the group. She is a force to be reckoned with, similar to the tides of the ocean. She is the peaceful dreamer of us four, and actually, the most peaceful person I have ever met in my life, which is inspiring to say the least. She is also the comedian of the group – anything and everything she says and does makes me cry of laughter, and as any group of girlfriends knows, “the funny one” is dear to the group – they tug at a certain heartstring. She makes us girls feel like the most important people in the world, and shows us how to make our way through life: with grace and humor because it will always be ok in the end. 

As for me, well, I’m just grateful to have these three in my life – through thick and thin. In the past, I haven’t been so lucky. Yet, there is a special liberation in freeing yourself of holding onto negative people and things, and if it weren’t for these three, I don’t know when that would have happened for me. Simply put, these girls helped and healed me more than they know. Through just being themselves, they made me love myself again. They make me feel seen, worthy, loved, and happy to my core. 

To close in classic Carrie fashion…

I couldn’t help but wonder if the secret to loving ourselves and life is really just some really good girlfriends. 

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